There is no surer route to psychosis in a non-psychotic person than sleep deprivation.

Before Elavil, I was used to going long intervals without sleep followed by long sleeping marathons. That completely disrupts having any productive schedule, but it never rendered me truly sleep-deprived. It's just a crazy scedule, or lack thereof, to be on.

Then, in the Spring of 2013, I did experience actual true sleep deprivation. (Combination of age related sleep change and situational stress.) Based on that experience, you have my complete sympathy. I would compare it to being thirsty and not able to access liquids to drink. You do truly get desperate. It's just awful.

I also witnessed an elderly woman, who was abruptly taken off Seconal, go through a week of withdrawal characterized by no sleeping. This was in a nursing home where I worked. The lady, who was perfectly normal prior to them discontinuing her barbiturate sleeping pill, became a basket case - obviously having a psychotic experience . . . reaching out for imaginary objects in the air, like she was trying to push through cobwebs.

I figured they (facility and doctor) knew what they were doing. Well . . . they didn't. After about 7 days, she died. What a thing to witness! I'm still shocked, thinking about it. The doctor supervising this was a General Practitioner.

If the doctor treating your insomnia is a generalist, then I would encourage you to try to hook up with a psychiatrist, even just for a consult or two. My own primary care practitioner is very smart and even teaches at a medical college. Still, I am amazed at how little he knows about psych meds.

Elavil in large doses, like 100 mg and up, can be very tough on the system, producing heart palpitations and other effects. Careful dose selection, with low dose introduction and gradual tapering up, can make all the difference in how you experience using this drug.

I do think you can realistically afford to be more hopeful. If people can recover from heroin addiction, then I think long term Klonopin use can be recovered from. It's just a benzo, not a barbiturate or an opiate. One of the most brain damaging substances a person can use is alcohol, yet many people have recovered from long term, heavy alcohol use with brains that still work. Don't catastrophize your situation with unwarranted assumptions, based on an alarmist article you may have read.

When I came off of Restoril (a benzo,) my psychiatrist was much more concerned with doing that gradually than my G.P. doctor was, and that caution worked out well for me. So I would urge you to get proper psychiatric care. Until you get stabilized, I would not advise you to go getting involved with osteopaths, or herbalists, etc. You sound like you are in need of serious competent psych care.

You also need some kind of daily routine that keeps you appropriately active in the daytime to help reset your inner clock. If you could get into a Partial Hospitalization Program, it might benefit you greatly. One I was in for a few months helped me a whole lot. It just doesn't sound like you are getting appropriate treatment. I hope you find it.