Hey, I'm glad you appreciated my opinion. Non-monogamy isn't a cure-all, to be sure, but I think it would serve some well that aren't allowing themselves to consider one of those as an option after lots of consideration.

I'm not married. I'm now 34. I've been in a relationship with a married woman for 5 years with her husband's consent. I'm one of her 4 partners. He has a couple of partners as well. They do not have children, but there are couples in our poly community that do. Our dinners and meetups are PG, and kids are usually running around on playgrounds while the adults visit and discuss every day life.

The couple with children in my city that are also poly lead quite normal lives other than that they might appear a tad bit more hippie than others in their neighborhood. Some of them are out to their kids, and some are not. The same with their extended family or coworkers.

What's of utmost importance is lots and lots of communication with your partners, especially your hubby. Boundaries and expectations are tools that help couples along. For example, a boundary could be to be home after dates with others by 11pm, and/or you'd have only 1 date night a week. These boundaries can be revisited and discussed after a few months to see how they are suiting you and your hubby.

Another great book is Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. She gives overviews of different types of non-monogamous relationships and why each is usually chosen.

If your hubby were into "hot wife" fantasies, you two would be a dream team.

As for polyamory, I've had sex with more people as a single dabbling in swinging than I have since I got involved in a poly relationship. It certainly isn't a sex buffet like some may assume.