Michael Dell never imagined his work would end up in a museum when he was sitting in his college dorm room in 1984, dreaming of building and selling his own personal computers. Now, one of his original computers is going to the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of American History.

The 42-year-old chairman and chief executive of Texas-based Dell Inc. donated a collection of materials Wednesday to the Smithsonian, including his employee badge, one of the company's newest computers and a PC Limited computer from 1985.

Michael Dell is my age.

GOD, I feel insignificant.

One of my classmates from my first go-round at college now writes a column for ESPN.com. Another is director of communications for Pacific Bell.

And me? Toiling away for a midsize daily in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, of all god-forsaken places.

I never have been able to reconcile what I think I should have been with what I ended up being. I always end up feeling like an abject failure.

My last pdoc tried to buck me up by saying that based on where I started from, with the abuse and whatnot and then the depression, I'm actually doing very well -- at least comparable to the people who *didn't* have that background and have achieved success. I loved him for trying, but I never bought it. I'm a solid 10 years behind my peers and I'm the only one to blame for it.



Would love to hear from anyone else who beats themselves up for this. Misery loves company and all that.

CB