I have learned that it's human nature to have a fight/flight response. I have also learned, that when it's an over reaction, parts stem from what I consider an 'echo' of an experience somewhere growing up. Leads to anger and resentment. I've learned it's rather common place.

Feeling on the defensive from sensing a threat, as you mentioned other females, it's natural, yet, causing a breakdown of your friendships and relationships.

There's a variety of courses of action, if you've a sincere desire to break this pattern. A therapist trained in CBT, self help literature ranging from anger, relationship building, friendship strengthening, trust building, etc. All could help.