First of all, welcome to PC I hope that you find this place to be helpful, and a great resource and tool, as I know many of us are.

As for the clutter issue, the only thing I can really say is to try your hardest not to get too down on yourself about it. Especially when it comes to worrying about the judgement of others. I know that can be especially difficult, but we ALL have something (or many things) that we struggle with. It's important to be gentle with yourself.

Maybe just start with a small area of your home? Like, let's say even just one piece of furniture. Make a goal to go through all the stuff on like, a bookshelf, and then just make it a habit to maintain that one spot. You don't even have to worry about the rest of the room, let alone the house. And once you feel like it is manageable, and even easy just to take care of a bookshelf, maybe start with another small area.

It might take time; a LOT of time, and that is okay. It's perfectly okay. It's just important to establish the habit. And hopefully as you de-clutter, you will gain more confidence in yourself and it won't weigh on your heart as much as it is right now. Once you see your home slowly starting to come together, hopefully some of the motivation to keep it this warm and happy and inviting place will also return.

I've found a lot of these books and youtube videos and such often ask TOO MUCH all at once, so it's no wonder that it can be overwhelming, especially while trying to balance mental illness along with it. Just start with little baby steps.

Wishing you all the best! Just start small, and don't be too hard on yourself.