Thank you again.

I basicly forced my wife to talk about our issues again. It was clear that my in laws play a huge part in our problems. I feel that possibly for the first time I was able to speak to her as an equal, though it took a while to get her guard down. There are a lot of things we need to work on.

I was able to convince her that I need better control of our money. It's been agreed we will keep a joint controlled account, but also have our own which will allow me more freedom in my life. My wife did ask if she could still look at my statements, though I hope this was a test question. If I said no I'd be hiding something or similar. Paperless banking sounds good to me though. I'm tired of asking for permission to spend 10 pounds.Let's hope it works out.

Most of her fears of me cheating appears to be a lack of self confidence from her. Maybe I just need to pick her up more? Or indeed I need to gain some strength myself.

I'll give it a few more days and see how it goes. Just confronting her was hard enough, but maybe that's what I needed?