I don't think it is that unusual. When I am really depressed I often wish I had terminal cancer and would get all the sympathy and attention and then just die. I have heard lots of people with depression say the same thing. We want it to at least be acknowledged that what we suffer is real. It can't be seen and most people don't understand it. Like OriginalMe says you want to turn that jealousy and thinking into getting those needs met in a healthy way. It is just telling you that you have unmet needs. Figure out how to get them met.