I don't feel guilty I just have noone to talk to. After all they have done, they should feel guilty but they don't. My mother in particular apologised but it is worthless since she does the same things still. My sister once apologised when she was drunk but that might mean nothing and doesn't mean anything to me since she can't talk about these things when she is sober. It is a very political situation and I am the boat rocker. They all want to hide the dirty laundry and hate that I keep exposing stuff. It really is lonely though since I basically have one person call me other than family at the moment. I go nowhere except shopping and therapy really. No visitors except when someone wants something and even then it's rare. I get really bad when I am alone, like more destructive to property and uncaring about house work etc. I am a social person but one of those social people who gets drained by 'keeping up the mask' or whatever so I then need time alone. Like the mask of being normal/being like others. I can only be myself after knowing people for a long time and that doesn't usually work out well so here I am alone and bored. lol.