Scared today, really scared. I've had a position of responsibility for the last 6 years in an organization, and today I am being called in to question as to my suitability for the role. Evidently due to my illness I am no longer being seen by others as fit for the role. It makes me angry and mad that my best is seemingly not good enough, and the goals have been moved to out of my reach. Yet another thing that my bipolar has ruined.

I am preparing for the worst. I am scared. I wish it were different. But I live in a world where people do not understand mental health issues. If I had a broken leg it would be different, they could see something was wrong. But no, I have had to contend with "you've been on medication now for over a year now, isn't it working yet?"

I hate having to defend myself because of what I suffer from. When will other people "get" that this is a life condition, rather than something you "recover" from. Blah, I wish I didn't care so much what other people think