I'm sorry that some mothers don't protect as they should. I can very much relate to this. (mine was also an abuser too though)

When I'm around my mom I go into a "mind set" that she is a distant relative or a neighbor that I just feel obligated to be there for-- on occasions. It can be VERY difficult... if you're like me--I accidentally dissociate but it's helped me get through then. (don't know if that's supposed to be a good thing, and I probably shouldn't mention it??...... but I'm not sure I'd be able to make it around her most times without that ) anyway maybe thinking of her as an acquintance instead of your mother might help?? ... just a suggestion......

I wish you the best, you are in my heart.

mandy