Sorry, I haven't had time to respond until now. But yes, I am worried about compassion fatigue with her. But I have a lot of issues with trust in therapy since I have been retraumatized by previous therapists.

I don't know if there is a strong shift in the way that she interacts with me exactly, but I just get really worried about her self care. As I've mentioned on here before, she seems to have some kind of eating issue going on. That has been there since the start of therapy. I get really worried about the eating thing because, I know that it is a problem that my sister has. And I know with my sister it is a really big sign that she is not dealing with her emotions. And I worry a lot about T's who don't deal with their emotions, because I'm pretty sure that is how I got hurt in the past. And I get worried that if she does't have anyone to talk to that she will end up taking it out on me.

She also made a comment a few times ago, when I told her that I wanted her to be more emotive when I told her about things that were painful, that she doesn't ever have strong reactions to things unless they are just really, really out there kind of bad things. And she said that she is like that in her personal life. She has also made frequent comments when I come to see her about having a crazy day, or feeling exhausted, or not having a life. These comments seem jovial and friendly, and maybe she thinks that I will connect with them, but really they just make me worried that she is too tired to be therefore me. I sent her an email after our last session asking her to stop making those kind of comments.

She also made some other comments in the past about her family being weird. And she said something about not having many friends. We talked about my discomfort with knowing these things, and my worry that she didn't have anyone to talk to. She seemed to change her persona a bit after that, and has been less forth coming about those kinds of things.

And then when I last saw her I told her about my cousin who also has a psychology degree who worked in detention with Juvenile offenders. I was having coffee with this cousin one time and she started bragging about how she was the only woman who worked in this place who hadn't been rapped, and that she knew how to do her job better than the other people who where there because was supposedly and expert at not getting raped. This really hurt me a lot because I'm a survivor (but my cousin doesn't know). And I said that I thought that my cousin should have been more sensitive because of her psychology degree, and my T said that her and I had a difference of opinion about this because my T said that she would see no reason to be sensitive in her personal life just because she is a therapist. But I'm really not sure if she understood how insensitive my cousin was being.

Anyway, I'm having a hard time telling if I'm just being oversensitive to my T, and the way that she is about some stuff or if there really is some kind of problem. Its all very possible that all of this is coming up not because I'm kind of on the prepuces of working through some more serious things in therapy. And its not like my T is an insensitive jerk all the time, after we stopped arguing about her self care last time, she said that it seems like I have this pattern of testing her, and that that was ok, and that I could do it as much as I needed. And she has written me some caring emails in the past.