I tend to look to others for approval because I don't like anything about myself. I've always felt good when I was in a personal relationship with a guy because as far back as I can remember having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with someone was a status of how much someone else liked you and it never really seemed to matter if you liked yourself just as long as the other person was there. I've been "on my own" at least where that is concerned for almost 12 years. I am a twin and always believed that I'd be married first because although it is only by a minute I am the older twin and from the time we were 16 she had said she would never be married, well as of the 25th of May next year she will have been married for 14 years. She got married the May before I lost my last "love". Now I am believing that I'll never get married although I have wanted to ever since I was 16. Sometimes I feel that it's unfair that the twin that pretty much hated guys and was never getting married has had a wonderful guy to be married to for the last 13-14 years and I've been alone. I've always heard that you have to love yourself before someone else can love you, but all the guys in my life that I "dated before 2003 loved me when I didn't love myself or at least that's what they said. One even asked me to marry him but we broke it off because he was too much of a MOMMA'S boy and I think I had told him I planned on us living between where his parents lived and where mine lived because he lives in the middle of the state I live in and I live on the extreme eastern end of the state which is about 2 or 3 hours apart or something like that so I figured that halfway between our families would work for both us because that way either family could come help if we needed it because he had the same disability I have. He ended up finding a woman who would live with him at his parent's house and married her. How do you LIKE yourself when you have so much you HATE about yourself? So confused!