Thank you both.

I don't think it is entirely my therapists fault. Somehow we got back to feelings, I remember feeling scared and telling him that I was deep inside scared. And then I was suddenly in that memory. I think I surprised him too.

I wanted to speak, to ask my therapist for help, to get me out of that memory, but I was stuck. I couldn't talk. Now I know why. I was reliving the fact that I couldn't call for help, he had his hand over my mouth. He threatened to call out to his friend who wasn't far away to come and 'join in'.......I was too terrified to say anything then........so I couldn't today.

This is too hard, and I really didn't want it to come up now.

I just remembered(my memory gets so hazy when this sort of thing happens, is that strange?) looking up when I was a bit calmer at the end and my therapist was rubbing his face and pinching his nose, he looked like he was thinking......oh ****!.....this is not good timing. I'm not entirely sure what he was thinking..........