I really screwd up the last time I seen my therapist....If I could stick my head in a hole I would .....Im so ashamed .
For over a year now Ive been seeing a therapist .Appointments are usually about once a month.This last appointment I did my usual "what my month was like " thing when,at the end of the session , he asks me how I feel about ending the sessions.
I was relieved in a way because quite frankly I hate talking about how I feel...I really get bummed out after sessions,and rethinking my "ways of coping"...has been a real challenge to say the least.
What freaked me out however is in the last 1 and a half hour rant,I never told him about come serious self harming that I had done.
After he asked this I paused for a bit ,not knowing what to say and figured I better come clean.
Right away T says" How come you didnt mention that"
I told him I never got around to it..........IM SUCH A PATHETIC LOSER.....
So he set another for me.Im due back in a week.
Thats not the worst part.....right after this happened....or that night I engaged In more self harm.......I was was so mad at myself.I dont want to go back....but Im too afraid to cancel.I dont know how to handle this, I feel so STUPID.