So I had a discussion with the P-Doc this morning. I talked about the panic attacks. And she told me how to control them. But then I told her I am not sure these are even panic attacks because what I am experiencing during these is intense shame and feel people know something shameful about me(related to my traumatic incident) and I have to hide from people and go back home. We also talked about disturbing dreams or dreams that resemble nightmares. She then agreed I might have PTSD. I corrected her and told her "complex PTSD" and she agreed.

She then suggested I take anti-depressants. I told her I have tried citalopram and it didn't help and she said either that or something else might bring down the PTSD. I then told her what about therapy to reprocess the traumatic incident. She said the thing about that is every time you talk about it you re-traumatize yourself. To which I disagreed but didn't say anything.

We ended the session with her saying "think about an anti-depressant or something" so maybe talk next time.

So should I take anti-depressants. The last time I tried citalopram it made me feel extremely dry all over my body and my sexual desire went to very low and had problems reaching climax which lasted for years after even stopping taking citalopram. So I am frightened about it. And the next question is... is this a diagnosis? Am I diagnosed with complex PTSD now?