My therapist is a bit expensive, and really based on the cost, I probably shouldn't have even done an initial session. But, so far, he's the only one that's been able to adapt to me... so I have some hope.

I think the problem is, the benefits aren't always clear, immediate, and guaranteed. You invest a lot of time, money, and emotions - for *potential* benefits. Potential benefits for me are things like understanding myself better, being better at setting and keeping boundaries, feeling safer in the world, and improving my life and relationships (ha! these all sound so sane and positive when I write them like this, but day-to-day that's not how they really feel!)

But, it's not like buying a jug of milk. You don't put your money in, and get what you are asking for. It's sort of like:
- If you find a competent skilled therapist
- And if you click with the therapist and can develop a relationship
- And if the therapist doesn't leave, move, die, retire, quit
- And if the therapist knows how to work with your issues
- And if you are able to be open, honest, and vulnerable
- And if you are able to adequately cope with the disruption that therapy brings and stick it out
- ETC.

It almost seems like it's a miracle that therapy ever works at all.

And, honestly, no I'd rather not be doing it. But I hate my life. I've tried other things to improve it, and those weren't effective enough. Therapy is sort of the expensive, last ditch "what the heck, it can't get any worse!" option.