SnakeCharmer, nice detailed analysis of cost benefit analysis. Also I'm so sorry your T suddenly died on you, must have been quite traumatic, the way you describe your reaction.

shakespeare47, my view is that the cost benefit analysis is, on one level, quite personal. Which is why therapy is useful for some people and not for others. It depends on the person, on the problem, the time, the financial situation, etc. For instance, apparently a big enough reason therapy works for some people is that they really want to change. They are ready for change. It's hard to know when that is. But when a therapist is able to ascertain that, their work is much easier. They don't have to motivate you, you're there already half way there, just need guidance.

One of my therapists, she was my best one in my view, often brushed off my admiration for her ability to help me. It was no false modesty. I was a big part of the reason therapy about the issues I had, was successful. I was so darn motivated! Therapy takes work. Therapy asks you to go back and face the monsters you've run away from your whole life, abuse, trauma, fears of all sorts. I went to quite a few therapists since my teens and sometimes I just sat there because I did not want to change. Couple of them were actually great therapists. One was a Harvard educated psychologist that my dad paid and arm and a leg for. But nothing!

Now of course therapists do try to motivate you and some can, but ultimately if you don't have that deep motivation for major change, therapy won't work. This is strictly my view, but I have called it the "I'm so ****ing sick of this ****" mindset. That's the scientific name for it btw. It's not a depressed state but an angry activating state. When I've been there, I could go many different directions with it and some take longer or are more dangerous or less successful. So a good therapist notices I'm ready to take off and goes: NO wait, not that way, this way, I give you the tools, go face your daemons!

p.s. you made my high school miserable, I hate you Shakespeare, you literary genius you!