I wish I could support the advice to "just to do it." It sounds so sensible. Yet, no one would think of telling an AIDs patient to just take a shower, make a list of pros and cons, and get out there and just shake off that ole killer virus and just do it.

I've been in your shoes as recently as March.

I found it very helpful to get help. So the call someone advice, yes, you have to do that. People came and helped me organize, pack, and throw away. You are not in a position to pay people; I was able to provide some minimal payment. Others helped out of the goodness of their hearts.

I had to throw much stuff I thought I couldn't do without away. It was hard.

I see people on the BBC shows "The Life Laundry" who cry when the professional organizers make them get rid of stuff -- and they are uncluttering their lives by choice. We are NOT. We have been forced by situations in our lives to do so; it is not voluntary.

It will be better if you salvage what you can of your old life. And I pray that we both will emerge from the fire like the phoenix rising from the ashes, reborn.

Prayers and hugs.