I agree with the fact that people always wanting control are complex. I was in a relationship for 8yrs that was basically me being a controlled. I was doormat and was always "appeasing so as not to have a fight." And you know how it ended? I was kicked out of the house because I wasn't wanted anymore.
Don't let that happen to you. You are a great hard-working person. In my opinion. Let her go. Find someone who REALLY appreciates you for who you are. Unless BOTH of you compromise this won't be very successful for you because it doesn't sound like she wants to.

I hope she does compromise because it means that she's willing to make an adjustment for your happiness. And your feelings of being respected are important in a marriage. There is no place for belittling on either party's side. That's just cruel and unnecessary!

I hope things work out for your happiness and well-being.