Why don't you draw, paint, sculpt, write etc. her or about her? You must have a vivid imagination. You are clearly not psychotic, with good judgment and good insight into self. Deal with this creatively. Basically, these feelings went into your head and heart as "fantasia" - why not let them out in the form of "fantasia" as well, i.e. via creative expression? Maybe you will find solace in it and maybe you will eventually share whatever talents you discover through this pursuit with others. And that you capable of a feeling of that depth is good news - hopefully one day you will be able to develop a feeling of such depth for a real person and direct your love at a real person. Maybe you are just a particularly impressionable and sensitive soul?

I think the two parts that are fighting in your brain are both wrong. Two extremes. One extreme is saying that she will one day come to life, which is contrary to reality. The other extreme tell you that thinking of her is stupid, but it is not. If you can make those two extreme converge somewhere in the middle, you would be more at peace with yourself.

Another thing is that you are super timid, shy, and possibly socially anxious. As a result, you may not have been exposed to the same array of experiences (because you would shy away from them) as your age peer without those traits. So you might be a little delayed in your emotional maturation. Intellectually, the way you described the situation, you are not in any way delayed - you are describing a complex issue using appropriately complex language, etc. - but I am talking about emotional maturation that comes with real life experiences. So you are a little bit like a child who has an imaginary friend. And there is nothing wrong with that - I am not sure, but I think I have read someplace that children who have imaginary friends often grow up to be creative adults. Just do not take me wrong - I am not implying that you are retarded, god forbid no, but rather that your intellectual maturation is currently ahead of the emotional maturation due to the limited social interactions caused by depression and anxiety. So you are living in your head a bit, and clearly more so than many of your age peers.