I'm sorry you are struggling with this right now. I remember the conflict between my ideals and the way the system actually worked was (and still is) a huge stressor for me. It's tough with cases where everyone in power had put the person into one box, and refuses to think outside that box... one of the hardest things to come to terms with is how burnt out and jaded people can become after several years. It's the biggest battle I constantly have with myself: to not become jaded...

Can you tell your t how invalidating his response feels? It sounds like he's trying to normalize something you want him to understand is disturbing...