((Alex))
You are healing and need lots of hugs.
Why not just let yourself be today? For right now...it's okay to be gentle with yourself.
Hey, how about trying one of those relaxation tapes (in the guided imagery thread). They really work well for me especially when I am upset about dissociating in session.
It is so hard, the relationshp, sometimes we have to just leave it alone for a moment and focus on doing something good for ourselves.
Be good to yourself.