My father in law died almost two weeks ago after a two year battle with cancer. It's been a tough ride and my relationship with my mother in law and sis in law had alreay been rocky when he was diagnosed. Since he died though, I've put aside my feelings and really stepped up. I made an effort and opened my house to family, worked at the wake evey night, did lots of assorted little things to make their lives easier. I've really tried to be there for my husband. Our whole lives have been put on hold for two years.

My MIL is what you'd call a bulldozer. She has no regard for feelings and has made it clear over the years that she doesn't like me. My husband and I had many fights because he didn't believe that. At the funeral, Myself, my husband and My sis in law stood up at the podium with her when she gave the eulogy and she thanked the two of them and never mentioned me and never said a word about my speech. Ahe thanked everyone else who spoke except me. I kept all that to myself because I thought it wasn't about me. That this wasn't the point. Ive had to deal with two years of beig excluded from everything, from only knowing things through the grapevine and during this whole funeral, very few people would give me their condolences or ask me how I was doing.

The MIL has also gone a little crazy with ridiculous requests and yelling at people during this whole ordeal.

Next week is my bday and it's a milestone one. The things I wanted for myself (like a baby) haven't happened and now that my fil is dead, I wouldn't throw a bday party so soon. I also learned that friends can let you down tremendously. so we thought we could get away for a weekend. My husband hasn't been all that involved in sorting out flights and hotel and today I started to panic about the cost as well as timings. We had made plans for us to discuss it but he was late to show up. I called and he was busy off doing something with his mom (which was another ridiculous whim of hers).

All our plans went to hell and I was leftto deal with my panic alone. I also called him earlier in the day about aomethinf I was feeling ****** about, but he cut me off to talk to her. I get that they're grieving but I am too. And I'm sad about where I am in life as well and I have nobody to grieve or talk to. I know I've been a huge support to them regardless of my feelings and yet I've just been so alone for the last two years. And the man is dead and I don't see an end in sight - I see myself being abandoned by my husband because obviously dealing with his dad's death takes priority. I mean that truly and it's just the sad state of affairs.