I am sorry that you are having to cope with this alone. you must be feeling neglected and abandoned. I would be prepared to be let down for your birthday as well as his mother will probably do her best to jeopardize his time and he has proven to put her needs before yours. it may be that you should plan to put your trip off for awhile and give him time to bring his attention back around to you. in the mean time can you get yourself in to counseling so you can have some support for yourself?