I'm sure you're not too difficult. It's not your fault you have these illnesses and there is help, support and hope out there for you, you're not alone and you canand hopefully willget better, or learn to cope with challenges better. It might take time but you'll get there. You just can't give up, you have to fight every day, even at your worst try to still do one small thing towards recovery. That's still better than nothing. I know how defeating the whole thing can feel but don't let it win, you deserve to be healthy and happy, youare the important one here, not the illness.