I've always been a loud girl. Strangely enough I grew up in a house full of love and support (parents were divorced, but it never affected me... i think) yet I've never been able to keep my friends. It's like after a while they realize that I have nothing to offer, or they just get bored. It really hit me because since I was a kid I've been a loyal person, so it was really sad for me to see my friends talking **** about me behind my back when I used to give them as much love as I could. My family pointed out that sometimes I was loud or bossy, sometimes I could be even rough with people, but I never wanted to annoy anyone, I thought I was being cheerful and funny.

10 years later and I can't change.

No matter how hard I try I always end up laughing easily and for longer than necessary, or I just burst into a frenzy and I cant stop being all over the place, talking to people, being too "childish" and just acting as if I were crazy. It's awful and I can't stop and it just happens. Why? I don´t want to be like this, always asking for attention. I'm just plain annoying. People look at me with this big, mean eyes and I can't blame them, I've earned it. I'm always saying strange things that normal people just wouldnt say. Sometimes I even come off as rude, but I just don't know how to stop this! I seriously don't want to be obnoxious or irritating. I just want to make them laugh so they like me back.

I know that I'm not a likable person and it's pretty awful, I want to live in piece with this knowledge, but I can't.

Help?
Oh! And forgive my clumsy english, it needs practice, I know,