I don't really remember, but honestly both of them (and the lady who did my psychological assessment) just seemed to assume that i was abused that way because of the severity of my symptoms and how many times i've been hospitalized and so on. I find that irritating and frustrating.

It was such an ongoing and frequent thing that I think I have normalized it and don't think of it as a big deal at all. I tell myself over and over that everyone went through something like that. My last therapist said that isn't true, but I'm not sure.

I'm rambling, I guess I'm really detached from it all and can't understand why a therapist focuses on it. To me, the ongoing terror from the psychological, emotional, mental torture is way worse. The feeling that I don't deserve to live and shouldn't have been born is way more of a problem than anything else.

But honestly most therapists are used to these kinds of admissions and should be trained to deal with them in a kind and caring way. I know they hear this stuff every day they're working.