When I am on-the-couch depressed I am safe. No self harm thoughts at all. Too lethargic to even think them.

Full of energy now and the constant thoughts. I am not suicidal and do not want to die, but I don't want to be right now. I think I would be fine on an island by myself.

I leave for work in 2 minutes. Hopefully I will be too busy to be able to think (waitress). Wish for a car accident on the way to work. Then I could be in the hospital and away from life for a bit.