Depletion - re: The campaign, thanks . I'd honestly just be happy for Ts that discussed this stuff upfront as part of their intake, so at least we'd know what to expect. (Oops, which I think is what you say further down! Thanks!)

Stopdog - I guess we disagree. I am trying to reply to everyone on the thread individually (because I don't want anyone to feel ignored, overlooked, or like their contribution isn't appreciated) and it's already starting to tire me out. I was fine doing it last night, but this morning I'm depressed trying to get out to an appointment, and just struggling. I can see how this could happen to a therapist, especially if they have 20-40 people sending potentially long emails (I'm wordy) about very emotional content. I'm not sure that other professionals would be in the same position.

Lauliza - right, I don't think other professions are necessarily busier - it's that I can see how hard it would be to have a flood of long, emotional, critical emails all demanding well-thought, clear, caring responses that didn't trigger other things. Especially if your normal workday doesn't include time scheduled for doing that sort of thing.

ThingWithFeathers - Thanks, interesting article!

FeralKittyMom - "I think many well-intentioned, but not very astute, Ts get caught between competing intentions: to be available, nurturing, rescuing perhaps vs really understanding analytically the psychological impact of how such contact functions."

That makes alot of sense to me. But it also sort of sucks... because some Ts give off this vibe of, "I'm there for you, you can depend on me, you can contact me with problems, you can email me..." and then by not responding, they basically show that none of that is true. (OK, that may be a BIG leap, but you know what I mean?) I'd rather it just be clear from the beginning.

MrPink182 - I'm sorry that you don't have an email for your T. If it's a real sticking point, you might check out some other Ts... I'm actually really surprised that your T doesn't do email at all... the article that ThingWithFeathers posted talked about how awesome email is for administrative stuff, like rescheduling appointments. And I agree with that - even for me, as a client, I much prefer just sending an email asking to reschedule, getting one back with times, and responding. Done. Much easier than leaving a phone msg, waiting for a call back, missing it b/c I'm on a work call, etc.

TealBumbleBee - hi! Yeah, I think email is allowed, but it's not at all clear. I was mostly thinking of things I'd read here, and the ONE email interaction we had. I wrote about it before, but basically he had initiated it, so I'm sure that I wasn't doing anything wrong by replying. I was just surprised and a little sad that my reply wasn't acknowledged in any way.

In some ways, I guess it feels very one sided. He writes asking how things are going, and I give him a prompt response with lots of details. But then he doesn't write back at all. Not even something to let me know he "heard" me.

And, since I'm JUST realizing that now, as I'm typing, I'm also realizing... I think so much better in writing, rather than "in real time" while I'm talking. I don't think well AT ALL while I'm talking... especially in T (where I feel kind of scrutinized and uncomfortable). Again, it makes me think maybe I'd do better with a distance T and more email, since I'd be able to process things a bit easier and more clearly.

LicketySplit - "I wish they would just be honest about it and say that clients are only paying for 50 minutes of time. Period. " Yes, that, clarity. The thing is, some therapists do allow and encourage between session contact, especially for attachment issues, or so I hear. If you ever read the "Boundary Ninja" blog, she talks about how her T encourages her to call WHENEVER she feels she needs it, even if just to check that he is still there. I'm sad and jealous when I read stuff like this and then I feel like a terrible person for being sad and jealous!

Tangerinee87 - Just to clarify, I think the other poster goes 3x/week. So it's not $660/week for ONE session - it's $220/session, for 3 sessions a week, which is still expensive, but more understandable. My T charges $250/session, and doesn't accept insurance. It does feel a bit crazy high to me, and I thought I could shift my budget around to deal with it, but that is also causing me additional stress...

Thanks guys. And I really didn't meant to complain - this was just one interaction with my T, although honestly, it does make me not want to email him for anything personal. That's probably just as well, given security issues with email, I don't think it would be a good idea for me to pour out my heart via email anyway. And, I do think just writing things down as they happen, as if I were emailing, and bringing them in could help... that will hopefully let me capture the feelings as they're happening, but not put myself in a position to be hurt by a lack of response.

Thanks.