About a year ago, my father died abruptly and unexpectedly. At first, I was numb and in that disbelief period of grief, which passed. Strange thing is, I never truly felt I grieved, and never felt the full pain of it; don't get me wrong, I loved my dad and would choose to have him back given the choice. But, I really haven't missed him that much. Instead of grieving, I found myself going through an existential crisis and a relapse of my childhood depression, which still continues to this day, with the addition of hypomania (got diagnosed with bipolar disorder recently). I'd like to know if this type of grief is typical for a person with a mental illness.