Muffinhead, sorry for your loss.
Shock is a common reaction to loss of a loved one, especially if it is unexpected.
Sometimes the loss is so deep emotionally that on the surface we put on a good face, but our deep hurt can bubble up as other expressions of the hurt and loss.
My dad has been sick for a long time so I feel I have been grieving forever and still he struggles on.
Feel free to leave a comment or pm me or check out one of the other forums.