To quote asshat Dr Phil;

"You can't change what you won't acknowledge..."


So prepare yourself for the fact that you will continue chasing your tail while perpetuating an already intense amount of pain, Until you admit you can't kick the alcohol on your own.


The only other angle would be refusing to give it up, and that certainly can't be right, because you seem intelligent enough in your posts. So you can't be stupid.


So your choices are to either get help for your alcoholism, or accept that things will never change.


Take care