And then you get to beat yourself up, for saying "no" and asking for what you need. Oh, you just described me!!

So my T told me, ask for what you need before you get angry/lose your patience. This is setting healthy boundaries. Also saying no is not mean in and of itself, so don't feel guilty that you can't accommodate someone else's want or need, and feel good because you set boundaries from a good thinking place and not from a resentful reacting place.

I didn't say I was able to practice this, just that I recognize it and am seeking to change it.

Good luck!