I am shocked by this thread!

I am both deeply offended and saddened by the attitudes from some of the people on this forum. I feel for all of us because it's clearly a topic we have all struggled with - with differing experiences and results.

The important thing to remember is to try and not think in black and white terms.

Perhaps some of us have chosen to remain alone - because it is far more tolerable than being in a relationship with triggers and emotions and whatnot - but it is still a choice whether we want to be in a relationship or not.

No relationship is easy. I would sooner date a fellow borderline than a university jock who has no understanding of love or depth in relationships. I would sooner date a borderline than someone who has no desire to make things work. I would sooner date a borderline than the majority of the, "same generic people," out there. We are interesting, mysterious and above all - overly committed. (When we feel loved)

Borderline's are so beautiful - on such a deep and profound level - that often times - the only people who can possibly understand them for who they are and not confuse them for what they are - are genuine individual's with a deep understanding of the human experience and of empathy for others. We are amazing. We deserve the thing that is most painful to have and not have. Our part is in learning how we can work through stuff to get it. So long as we remain aware of this struggle - and maintain a consistency to it - we can make it happen.

I love you guys. All of you. Even if I disagree with you. And I'm struggling my *** off so that I CAN be with someone else. The thought of being alone is so very painful. It destroys me more than anything else. As painful as the journey is - I would sooner challenge the notion that borderlines are meant to be alone - and instead go along with the fact: that humans are not meant to be alone.

In no way, shape or form can we give up hope of getting what we deserve!

In it's simplest form - we with borderline simply require a bit more understanding and patience in order to maintain a healthy relationship. That does not necessarily mean that we with borderline are to blame for the outcome. It takes two in every relationship.

I agree that relationships are harder for us - which means the potential to find someone capable of understanding and willing to work with us through it - is also much harder. Perhaps people who don't understand us - don't deserve our friendship. That is something we all struggle with - borderline or not.

My primary concern for dating someone would be in finding a woman with capacity to see past my negative traits and see the good ones first and foremost. That is only fair. We all have good and bad traits. Relationships are reciprocal. We all have demons in the closet. So don't beat ourselves up with silly notions like we will always be alone - because it is simply just not true.

Don't take away our right of human nature and confuse it with being borderline - because it isn't the same. Approximately 50% of marriages ended in divorce in Canada and United States in 2013 according to UNSTAT via wikipedia - and approximately 1-2% of the general public has borderline. Surely 50% of the general public isnt borderline? Relationship problems are human problems - not directly dependent on borderlines.

Please stop hampering on our hope. It only makes matters worse!

Thanks
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