I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so much. It sounds really difficult...
Do you know if you're t has any experience dealing with trauma and abuse? Most t's will not tackle the trauma piece until they know their clients are in a stable enough place to deal with it. If your t does have trauma experience, she may be trying to make sure you are stable (not a danger to yourself, have sufficient supports, can reach out if things get overwhelming, are physically in a safe place) before she is willing to deal with the traumas. She may also be noticing that you decompensate when you are only focused on the trauma stuff... however if you are presenting with new and distressing memories, she probably should be doing more to help you process them enough to get stable before getting to push other stuff, but that's just my opinion, and not necessarily how she sees things.
She has a point about getting you to a better emotional and physical state at the moment. Trauma work can take a lot out of you and can trigger a lot of stuff. If you are not safe physically and emotionally, it can cause more harm than good.
Can you tell her how invalidating it feels when she seems to brush of something that is so important to you? Would you feel ok asking her how she thinks this method will help? Sometimes we don't get the full picture of what a t is trying to accomplish if we don't ask. Maybe you can show her your post stone I think you described yourself eloquently enough (at least I think I have an understanding of what you are saying).
I had new stuff come up within the past 8 months, and I go back and forth with wanting to talk to my t about it, and wanting to wait until I'm in a better space to do that. My t is aware that there's stuff I'm questioning, but she's not pushing it right now. We spend a lot of time making sure I'm safe enough to broach the new memories. It's a process. It's frustrating at times, but I appreciate her talking her time...
this is all really tough stuff you are trying to get through in therapy. If she wants you to expand your social supports, have you guys been able to explore the possibility of group support? That could be a slightly more controlled way to get you introduced to more people and to increase your social connections.