I'm new here and new to therapy, I've been going for about two months. I really like my T, but I don't think she thinks I like her. I tend to push people away from me and I can see myself doing that to her and I feel really guilty. I am pretty difficult with her, and she handles it pretty well. She knows I don't trust her and that she makes me uncomfortable. I am really trying to be open with her.
I have only trusted a few people in my life, but I have never let anyone in all the way. I want to let her in all the way but it is really hard for me. I have all these grandiose thoughts about what we are going to talk about in session, and then I go in and I turn into a cold robot. I am thinking about just walking into my session this week and sitting on the floor (she only has chairs). I thought maybe forcing myself to be physically vulnerable would make me emotionally too? Is that crazy? I am just at a loss for what to do but I want to be more open. This is such a pain.