Quote:
Originally Posted by likewater
We can't all be sweet all the time. There has to be a balance. Plus I know I have rage inside me that is murderous / violent. I don't always want to be touched. Il used to be called Monster. I got given the name Lily now. I realized i'm only 9. Maybe sometimes a mix of ages,but I carry rage from being 9. I never got enough to eat. So I eat. I didn't get color books or posters or new underwear for years so I get those. I don't like to be touched. I want to be alone. Other people are like dangerous aliens to me.I want to smash every thing. Burn down the houses where evil took place and then salt the earth.
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yeah I can relate to a lot of that. last T said something about me being a little kid. I got really angry. But there may be some truth to it, because I guess I am connected to the 10 yr old who is more wild/ feral, angry, protective and violent. I've only come as far as throwing light objects (ok the stapler wasn't light, but it was small), screaming when out of control, and *wanting* to hit/break things. K usually steps in when she can. I don't remember much between high school graduation and turning 22. Other than that I had a "mood disorder". Was angry all the time. felt like a thunder cloud was over my head all the time.
glad you posted - and that you get food and clothes and needs met now.