Another side note: making a change for us borderlines that permits the growth of healthy relationships is not an impossibility. But it is not easy. We will make mistakes and we will fail. In some ways we are retraining the brain - and it takes practice.

Growth is the inevitable cycle of success and failure - and the willingness to learn from failure and apply it into further practice. We cannot possibly learn and grow without failure - so why allow failure to guilt and shame us to the point of submission? We will never stop growing so why would we place expectations on ourselves to become, "fixed," and stop practicing?

We all feel tempted to quit when we fail - but ultimately - there's no way around it. If we want something, then we absolutely must fail.

We never stop growing. We will always make mistakes. A relationship is never perfect. A successful relationship is constantly growing and changing and never idles. We just have to work at it.

I for one would feel far more guilt and shame for having simply, stopped trying - (accepting unhappiness as an alternative) rather than push through mountains of challenge and obstacles in pursuit of the potential for happiness in a relationship.

Happiness is NOT easy. It's never going to be. Life is painful.

With change comes loss - with loss comes pain - with pain comes growth - with growth comes love.

And we deserve love.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz