I am feeling millions of miles away from okay.

I have no family as they have all passed away, and I am so damn introverted that even my best attempts to make friends has been pretty hopeless. I put my energy into trying to make myself a better person and to building a life for me and my former partner. I am completely gutted.

I have rung every friend I know, but they all have their own lives and their own issues, so I feel like I am stuck here staring at a reflection of my worst nightmare. I have been down this road before (divorce), and it was horrific enough when I wanted to let go because of the infidelity. This time it isn't even something I can hate my former partner for - he cannot cope with my GAD and MDD.

Now I struggle to find a way to heal while I pace, and panic, and watch all my dreams turn to ashes.