It is a very good question. The pressures and expectations can be huge and if you can't live up to them it causes distress.

I learned over the years that it was up to me to decide which cultural and societal norms I wanted to adopt for myself. I one day (in my 30's) realized I had a choice. What I was taught as a child and teen by my family and culture I could take or leave. Some things I liked and was very proud of and others I did not like. Its up to me what expectations I place on myself. Of course the hard part is the fact I have to meet my basic needs. Food, clothing, and shelter. Independence was deeply ingrained in me and I like that and am proud of it, but it causes conflict.