I have known Ian for over ten years, and he has been a best friend, as well as a good person. My last relationship ended in March of this year - it lasted 17 years. Ian was a friend to both of us throughout our time together. There has always been a spark between Ian and I. A part of me has always loved him and his jokes and the way he would kiss me when Dave wasn't looking. Now, Dave is gone, and Ian is coming from Colorado to Missouri where I live. He has family here as well. But he will be staying with me. This time he will not be banished to the couch. We have spoken, and many things were said that could not be said before, like 'love' and 'be there', sweet things that made my heart flutter. He wants to take me to Colorado with him after Thanksgiving for 2 weeks, and have me back for Christmas. I AM NERVOUS. I want so badly not to mess this up. I want his love, which I know he does not give away easily. I'm worried that my disorders will kill whatever gentle approaches he may make toward me. Yes, he knows I'm not exactly normal, he just doesn't know the depth of it. How is the best way to keep my 'crazy' on the low for him? I don't want to scare him away!