...And guess who isn't sleeping.

I slept a few hours on and off but it has been very aggravating. I wake every few hours with my stomach in knots. Sleep is getting more and more interrupted and I don't know how I am going to keep functioning.

My next appointment is a week from next Friday because my T had a few days off this week. I'm not sure if I need to speak with him or not. I suppose taking my own advice that means I need to speak with him . I've never spoken with him "in crisis" before... when I started with him was after my hospital stay and after my IOP when I was stabilized. Mostly though I really want to be able to take care of things tomorrow and I'm afraid if I call him I will procrastinate with the rest of the stuff. I can do the other stuff first in the morning and then call him or call someone afterwards. I don't need to be hospitalized but I need to take some kind of action. Really I need to take action on getting things back under control, which I have been working very hard at all week, and I need to follow through. I really think if I let this slip I will be overwhelmed.

As I said I don't need to go to the hospital but I have been considering it if I get worse... today I was deciding if it came to that if I should drive myself or let someone take me again... go to the local hospital or set something up through my T... options, considerations, etc.

I really wish I had someone nearby who I trusted and was available to come over... not at 5 or 6 am but someone who would say they could stop by after work and then would follow through and actually show up. I wish I could get some sleep. We need off buttons on the back of our heads, or in a hidden location like Data had on Star Trek.

And now of course I've added the additional stress of having to find an appropriate Beatle's title every time I post. I'm a Monk without a Sharona.

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