I do have contact with an ex-T. I'm allowed to email her once a year. I haven't seen her in 9 years now.

My emails consist mostly of the positives and/or major events during the year. I do not seek out help or support. And I don't expect a fast reply (it can take her over a month).

Her reply consists of her encouraging me a little, an update about her job, and an update about her family and/or what she's been doing. That's all. Maybe 2 paragraphs.

It's not much, but to me, it means that she didn't abandon me, that she's still there, and she's still a part of my life. That means so much to me.

After 9 years, I'm questioning what's the point. But I can't let go. I need to know she's still there...even if it is only once a year.