DrClay, which books would be on your list of the gems? I do tend to use various self-help books a lot, and when I find a good one I keep mentioning it in various posts, but I forget to bring it here and discuss it. I think that some books are excellent for specific issues or sets of issues.

I am also interested in writing myself. My first idea was to write an autobiography and let people learn from my life experiences. Then I realized that I don't even have the answers yet, so it would be better to write after I have more to offer. Now I am thinking it would be better to fictionalize it so that I don't take too much chance on exposing people in my real life.

There doesn't seem to be much written specifically on the issue that I want to address, although I keep finding more people who have had a similar experience. Do you know of any resources that address children of parents who actively tried to keep their children from growing up? Families like that would be difficult to reach anyway, since the parents are not looking for help or interested in change, and the children (even as adults) usually don't have enough personal power to be actively recruiting help, and if they try they get shut down. Maybe it would be best to try to increase awareness in people who might be in a position to recognize those families, such as teachers and neighbors and the general public. And I then children of families like that also need support to break or loosen the ties and develop confidence to live their own lives.

Patricia Love touches on that a bit in "The Emotional Incest Syndrome" but seems to be more focused on the opposite situation - children who were treated as miniature adults and put in the position of being their parents' confidantes and best friends.