Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemystery
For those who have e-mailed a T post-termination, were their responses similarly short? My T said her replies would be "less counsel-y"... but the way she phrased that made me think it would have been a bit longer than one sentence.
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It's been over 2 years since I had to end the relationship with my former therapist. We've texted maybe 5 or 6 times since then.
He always says something personable, such as he misses me, thinks about me and hopes i'm doing well, etc. They are usually a 3 sentences, and he signs his messages "love". For me, this reinforces that our relationship was meaningful, and that the spirit of our relationship still exists, that relational connections live on even after they end. It reinforces intrinsic worth and that he cared about me.
I'm not sure of what type of therapy you were in or the other circumstances, but in my situation, our therapeutic relationship was very intimate. My former therapist taught me everything I now know about intimacy and the importance of relationships. It was very late in my life, unfortunately, but better later than never.
I have never had such a positive physical ending to a relationship before, so the ending itself has been extremely therapeutic for me. It's also hopeful because it feels as though I did internalize his goodness, even if just a little bit, as there was nothing positive introjected from my parents. Nothing.
I'd be pretty hurt by that response. I'm think that you might be conflicted about it, hence your thread. I'm sorry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplemystery
I'm afraid she was more careful to set a boundary than she had anticipated. Does that mean I did something wrong? That maybe I said too much, appeared too eager to say hi? I tried to keep it concise, positive, and general, but maybe I crossed a line because I thanked her for the book list and talked about how I really liked the books she recommended. I don't know.
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You did nothing wrong. I think the comments about the book list were very healthy; I have no idea how that could be crossing a line. You sound very insecure here. I imagine you were never fully secure about this relationship even when you were undergoing therapy with her.
I can see why you are questioning everything. I do want to point out that I do not think it is you. Not at all.