Thank you. I am in the UK, disability assistance is limited, and...well, I don't want it to be the sum total of my life. I'm not yet 30, I don't want to scrape by on benefits for thirty more years becoming more and more decrepit. I'd rather die. And I say that as somebody who is not suicidal right now, at all. I just want an autonomous life where I have adequate energy to take proper care of myself rather than lead a ramshackle existance.

I have succumbed and taken so much valium tonight, and it still hasn't made me not care. I just feel wobbly. Ffs. Where is there to turn once valium stops working?