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I wouldnt do something like that, leave a child hurting, I can't believe i did that. T said that I was a child myself and couldn;t do anything other then what I did do to survive and that I built a shell around me... I've trapped all my pain inside.

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That's me to a t also. My T has taught me methods using ego state therapy to have my adult ego state go back and help my child ego states, to rescue them, to provide them with what they needed back then. It's been very powerful and healing for me. I hope you can learn how to take care of your child, mouse. It sounds like you are making tremendous progress in therapy--what a great session!