As I said elsewhere I left a site where a few people ganged up on me. One of the things at that time ( after being there 6 months) were sudden terrible financial stressors which I talked about. Those ( begging for money) and every other slander imaginable were laid at my feet. So I left. I had no choice. Never had anything like that happen before. I feel lost and am afraid to talk about money stressors but I have to. I need prayer that the money I need to buy my medication comes by the time that I need it. I need prayer that the new job pays me enough to get by and that I find a better paying job soon. Mainly I pray for this sense of being so alone, afraid, and trampled to death to leave me and that I find peace, prosperity, and love. I miss my beloved dog Beau so very much. He died 2 years ago on June 10. My heart continues to break. No counseling in the world will every stop the pain. The loss of the unbelievable love bond he and I shared. I miss him every single day. Rarely does a day pass that I do not cry for the loss of my Beau. He means more to me than anything. And I still cannot believe fully that he is gone. How can a being THAT close and THAT perfectly in sync with you die? We were in a beautiful symbiosis. How could he be gone from me until I die? I cannot comprehend that. Some believe that animals sometimes come back to their owners and I wonder if Beau might do that. I tried getting 2 different dogs and each was a disaster. My heart is so broken. This is going to sound silly but the best analogy I can think of is if you lost you mother and someone said oh just go get another one. I can't. I can't just get another dog. There is only Beau. I love dogs and am in such pain and ambivalence over this. When I had the other dogs I could never stop comparing them to Beau. Beau Beau Beau Beau. I loved him so much I don't know how to live without him.