If I can offer a thought, 9 years is an awfully long time, even in therapy years. I imagine your personality might not make it easy for you to let go of anyone good (or 'needed') in your life.

Its not about moving on, I think. We can never intentionally forget, but you can develop new healthy relationships, that fill the 'someone who genuinely cares for me' hole in your life.

For what its worth, I find it difficult to give up too, so I understand the emotion here. I'm pretty hard on myself about not moving backwards unless I feel like its a good idea. I don't always really deal with it, and just bury that emotion, and it works, but... (and the but is why I guess I still need therapy.)