Quote:
Originally Posted by Kildesortering
I don't really know what empathy is, to be honest. I do know how my actions affects other people. That's what makes it so great. I like seeing pain in general, it's okay even if it wasn't my fault, but it's better if it was.
It's difficult to see some people as "innocent". The really "bad" people usually don't affect me at all - they hurt other people, not me. The people you might see as innocent, they always annoy me somehow. They try to control me, they think they're better than me, they talk with food in their mouths. I know they're just humans, like me, and that they don't understand how pathetic and annoying they are - also probably like me. It's just... I have the power to destroy them. It would be easy and fun. The only people I really see as innocent is young children. Not always though, I've met bad children.
I can see why I shouldn't hurt the people I care about, and I try to avoid hurting them... but they are closest to me. I've hurt my friends so many times now, I try not to, but they annoy me so much and it feels so good. I don't hurt my family as much. I do hurt them, sometimes, but I've been getting really good at making it look like I'm just bored, and not thinking about what I'm doing.
I guess I'm not really committed to stop, but I'll keep what you said in mind, I will be more aware of what I'm doing. I'll have to figure out who it's "okay" to hurt and who it's not okay to hurt. I know many bad people, they don't do anything to me, but I could change that.
Thank you.
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You, me, others. We learned how to be the way we are from someone else, someone who was mean, cruel, abusive, controlling, while we were young. We learned it from people who learned it from people. The people we learned it from were once innocent children. I would definitely put children in the innocent category. I was a rotten, cruel child myself, a child you wouldn't characterize as innocent. But I know where I learned it from; it is not a mystery to me.
I absolutely cannot currently relate to your ambition to hurt anyone who annoys you just because you can. I did kill some things when I was a child (under 10) and sent some people to the hospital; two cases were personal, the others were just to see what it would feel like, and I did not take any pleasure in hurting or killing things that did not do something to me to make me extremely angry. It was a learning lesson for me. Revenge felt good but unwarranted violence did not produce a pleasure for me. Picking on weak, defenseless, or innocent people does not give me any thrill.
I do not understand how it could be thrilling to anyone. For me, danger is thrilling. Challenge is thrilling. Revenge is thrilling. But I cannot get any of these things from women, children, or even men who are civilized and not aggressive. I could never understand rapists, child molestors, women-beaters, or male bullies, or male serial killers who kill women and children. Just don't get it. Are you in this category? Or are you just emotionally sadistic to other people?
I would come up with a definition of innocent, and run it past people here. Get some other opinions. If you think nobody is innocent, your definition of innocent is very narrow.